Act Five has been working with Coldwater Canada since our beginning. There is a shared love of the wilderness between our organizations, and beyond that, a shared desire to help grow resilience in the young people that pass through our programs. Jess McLean works as a Wilderness Instructor and Communications Coordinator for Coldwater Canada. She believes strongly in the growth that challenge can offer to a person. Here she shares a little bit of her own story with the wilderness and reflects on the necessity of challenge. If you have ever wondered why Act Five sends our students on long camping trips to the middle of nowhere, Jess’ words here offer an answer to that question.

“Education must enable young people to affect what they have recognized to be right, despite hardships, despite dangers, despite inner skepticism, despite boredom, despite mockery from the world or the emotions of the moment.”

Kurt Hahn, Founder of Outward Bound

Jess’ Story

“From as early as I can remember, the wilderness has been a significant part of my story. As a young girl, I remember the feeling of freedom as I rode my bike through a campground and swam in open lakes.

As a teenager, I took on bigger and longer adventures. I would venture out on canoe trips and always try to beat the accomplishments from the year before. There were longer portages. One trip portages. Longer distances paddled. More portages per day. More of this. Less of that. Every portage left me feeling more empowered, and every morning spent by a lake brought a new sense of clarity.

By the end of high school, I recognized the wilderness as a place of empowerment, freedom and clarity. I could not get enough time in the wilderness!

Wilderness Classrooms

Attraction to the wilderness is what eventually led me to develop the courage to go on an adventure with Coldwater Canada. Through that experience, I realized that the wilderness is much more than a ‘special place.’ It is a classroom where God develops our trust in Him and shapes us to be more like Jesus. This realization created breakthroughs in my understanding of my identity in Christ, and I developed a desire to see others experience God through wilderness adventure as well. 

I then decided to be trained as a Wilderness Instructor in order to learn more about experiential learning and using the wilderness as a classroom. I soon realized that the element of ‘challenge’ in the wilderness is an intentional part of God’s design.

Pursuing Challenge

It does not take much life experience to recognize that challenge is an element of every person’s life–but there is a difference between the presence of and the pursuit of challenge. When we choose to intentionally pursue challenge, God develops necessary skills and traits in us for facing the challenges of life that we do not get to choose.

Over the past 3 years, I have had the privilege of leading 7 wilderness adventures for Act Five with Coldwater Canada. From hiking up steep ascents with heavy hiking backpacks in Virginia, to traversing through deep mud with a canoe on their shoulders in Temagami, to waking up on a cold morning in a quinzhee in central Ontario, I have seen Act Five students develop resiliency and strength through the pursuit of challenge. 

This resiliency has carried each student past the mountain tops and valleys of the wilderness and into the depths of the learning and serving at 75 Blake St and beyond. I am confident that the students’ trust in God and confidence in their abilities developed in the wilderness gives them the courage to have difficult conversations and engage in new learning throughout their gap year program.

I am grateful to get to be a part of the deep impact Act Five sees in their student’s lives, and I look forward to seeing how God continues to use the wilderness to shape His people.”

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What have you been up to since Act Five?

In the fall after my Act Five experience I went to Mohawk College to study civil engineering. I loved being back in Hamilton because Hamilton had come to feel like home, but I ended up finding through that year at school that online learning wasn’t for me. I struggled with having to teach myself the classes I was in. So, I decided to move back home to Chatham and work for my parents business there. I’m still working there now. I spend my days running heavy equipment and working as a mechanic’s hand when needed. I really enjoy being back home and working full time. I’m happy with my job and am really enjoying it. 

You are more than two years removed from your Act Five experience. What from Act Five are you still carrying with you?

What does your time at Act Five mean to you now?

It’s so hard to put into words what Act Five has done for me. It feels like taking 100 different thoughts and forming them into one. I would say that the time I spent at Act Five means everything to me. Act Five shaped me into the person I am today. I honestly have no idea where I would be without it. Act Five taught me so much. The program helped strengthen my spiritual journey and walk with God. It really did shape me into the person I am today. It is really hard to put into words what it has done for me, but I do know that I wouldn’t trade my Act Five experience for anything. I feel blessed to have been a part of it I would do it all over again. I would also encourage everyone to do it if they have the chance. 

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Moving is rarely simple. 

Aside from wrapping knick-knacks in bubble wrap, boxing up books, removing pictures from walls, there also were the good-bye parties, late-night conversations with dear ones, cherishing all the “lasts” while anticipating all the things to come. A significant time to be sure. 

As I reminisce today about all the preparations made, I can’t help but consider this theme of packing up and moving as a metaphor for life within the Act Five family. 

Bear with me as I unpack this a bit.

Deciding what Belongs

Packing up required Autumn to sort through things that belonged to her – many things she had kept for years. It was tedious work. A lot of decisions had to be made. She had to be thorough because, well, she’d just have to unpack it on the other side! 

Similarly throughout the school year, Act Five students had opportunities to sort through things that “belonged” to them – kindness, self-control, discernment, mercy, justice, impatience, fear, selfishness. As they sorted, they pondered:

Do I value this enough to take it with me? 

What do I want to give away or throw out?

Is this taking up too much space? 

As a follower of Jesus, does this really matter?

What do I want to have more space for?

Reflecting is tedious work – after all, some things had been kept for many years. Thoroughness mattered, because, not only were they eager to get rid of the extra weight, they also wanted to create space for things that mattered to them. Things like:
the habit of paying attention, the experience of solitude, the discipline of gratitude, the intentionality of loving “place”, the gift of hospitality, the desire to listen to others, and more.

Time was carved out regularly for students to pause, journal, and sort out their “belongings”, encouraging them to ask hard questions of what they wanted to hold on to as one who claims to love the Light. 

Living Through the Mess 

Packing up last August was a messy job. Disassembled furniture, labeled boxes, endless tasks and to-do lists. What overshadowed it all was the second-guessing of how it will all turn out. Messy on many levels.

What does “messy” look like in a home filled with 12 young adults? Dishes piled high and floors covered in clothes for sure! But how about hurt feelings or relational conflict? Things done with selfish motives or crises of faith? Words spoken too quickly, or words not spoken at all? How about the weight of listening to the stories from the Six Nations People, or the jet lag after the month in Zambia? And, in the end, the stay-at-home order that took these friends out of the comforts of Blake Haven a month earlier than planned.

As the students experienced the brokenness in themselves and the world, they were encouraged to bring their beliefs to bear on these situations. A quote in one of Autumn’s Act Five notebooks reads:

Head knowledge ends when you are faced with poverty and suffering.

And later she scribbled: 

Theology is meant to be in service to our love – it’s more than just ideas. We can’t always explain, we have to experience.

Explanations on their own rarely suffice. As parents, we are grateful for the intentional experiences that were designed into the Act Five Gap Year Program. Through the varied experiences (marvelous as well as messy!), Godly mentors came alongside the students to help make sense of the brokenness they felt and saw. They were encouraged to wrestle with the uncomfortable things happening in and around them. They were provided with a safe place to talk through the messy experiences. Many questions were answered and conflicts resolved. Some were not, and students had the opportunity to sit in the tension. With loving guides, head knowledge began connecting with their hearts, helping them to change, and transforming them more into the image of Christ. Hope replaced despair as they were called to look up to the Father who is constant and steadfast.

Doing it Together

Back to the moving metaphor. Have you ever tried packing up or moving alone? Although Autumn hadn’t accumulated many earthly possessions, I sense she was thankful to have her family by her side on moving day. On her final weekend at home, we had a good-bye celebration to give loved ones an opportunity to send her off. God places us in families and communities because He knows we need each other.

Community is an integral part of the design of the Act Five Program. Students live, work, serve, pray, eat, learn, and study together, and there is a clear understanding that the most crucial venue for discipleship is community. Jesus modeled this as He brought His disciples together in close contact – spiritually, socially & emotionally. It’s no wonder that the first Act Five cohort endearingly called themselves, “the disciples”. They flourished as they were mentored and cared for by Jon & Aimee, Dave & Nina, Alyssa, Elise, and others who spoke into their lives, prayed with and for them, taught, and encouraged them, laughed and cried with them.

The students also were given opportunities to learn from and be part of the diverse community around them. They participated in co-ops including the Barton Street BIA (Business Improvement Area), Indwell and the 541 Eatery & Exchange. They made connections with several authors, poets, artists, and more. Travelling further afield, students enjoyed learning about other communities during their trips to Temagami, Six Nations Reserve, Zambia and Pittsburgh. All reinforcing the understanding that we were designed to do life in community.

Conclusion

All three parts of the packing up process were necessary for Autumn to launch into her post-secondary adventure. She needed to sort through her belongings, live through the mess, and do it together with others. All of these same pieces helped prepare her for the next step in her journey: moving into Blake Haven and thriving, growing and changing as a Beloved Child of the King.

May God continue to receive the glory for all that is happening within the Act Five community.

– Sarah

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